Right now I'm sitting on the couch with my sick little girl as she naps.
6:30am: She wakes up, feels a little warm, but temp is barely 99. A little voice says, "This isn't good" but a louder voice says, "You've got to get to work."
9:30am: The little voice says, "Check on your baby." I call. No answer. I go back to teaching.
9:45am: Call comes through to my room. The sitter says her temp has suddenly spiked to 103 and she's thrown up several times. That little voice is screaming at me now. "Why did you leave her? You knew something wasn't right."
I leave work and go to pick her up. I feel sick myself knowing that I wasn't there for her. I know that she was well cared for, but I feel like it's a battle I fight all the time. Keep that little voice quiet. Ignore the feeling in my gut because I have other responsibilities to attend to.
That, my friends, is mommy guilt. And I don't want anyone to say that I shouldn't feel guilty. I want to listen to that voice and follow that gut feeling. Reality says work, because I actually do love my job, but that little voice says be with your babies. Maybe one day my little voice and reality will align.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I think the secret is that the icing is just as thick as the brownie and it a slight mocha taste from the coffee you put in. Enough trying to sell you on them, here's the recipe:
1 stick butter, melted
2 cups sugar
8 tablespoons cocoa
1 1/3 cups flour
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup chopped pecans
Mix dry ingredients; then add eggs and butter. Add vanilla and nuts and mix well. Pour into (2) greased 8x8 inch pans. Bake at 325 for 25-30 minutes (toothpick should come out clean).
1 stick butter, melted (with 1/3 cup milk added to it)
1 box powdered sugar
3 heaping tablespoons cocoa
1/2 teaspoon instant coffee
1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix powdered sugar and cocoa. Add milk and butter. Add vanilla and coffee. Beat well and then pour over warm brownies.
Now you will be tempted to eat the entire pan right away, but they really are better if you wait till the next day to cut them. So eat 1 pan when you make them and then save the other for the next day! Enjoy!