Just One Click

It all started with just one click. I was checking a few blogs and thought I'd check in with a neighbor (where we used to live) who blogs. I did, and then I noticed another neighbor (from the same neighborhood) was on her blog list. So I clicked it. And I started to read. I was confused, so I clicked "older posts" until I figured out a place to start reading.

It wasn't long before my chest was tightening, I had a lump in my throat, and tears stung my eyes. This woman is pregnant...not much further along than I am. And the prognosis for her baby is not good. I don't know what to say, what to do with what I've read. My heart breaks for her. For her family. For her children.

I don't even know how to finish writing what I'm feeling. I went back and read through my posts about this pregnancy, sure that I had written about the fears I've had since early on, but I couldn't find anything. Maybe writing it would make it too real, maybe because there have been no red flags about little ButterBean, or maybe I'm just paranoid because Colson and Lilly-Belle were both premature so how could something not go wrong with this pregnancy.  I have written that I feel like I'm carrying low which makes me nervous, but throughout my pregnancy I've encountered, by chance (or perhaps not), stories of women who are carrying or have recently delivered babies with special needs. I don't know what to make of it.

But tonight, this sweet woman's story has touched me. I still don't know what I should say... I guess a start would be with my prayers. I pray for her, for her baby girl, for her family and friends, and the doctors that care for her. They are in my heart.