Southern Sayin' Of The Month

I live for the light of a full moon. -me

Monday, May 24, 2010

Mental Clutter

I've been having little bouts of anxiety lately. I don't deal well with some transitions. I don't like this about myself, but I like things planned and when there is uncertainty in my life it affects me.

When I say affects, I really mean consumes me. It makes me approach lots of things in my daily life with a different attitude than what I like. The uncertainty right now centers around what job I will be doing next year and what school I will be at. In an ideal world, I'd return to the school I previously taught at in a first grade position or in a Title I position. That is unlikely.

So I check the vacancies on the county website no less than 10 times a day. See...consumed.

But when I try not to think about it I just redirect my anxiety on other things...should I have eaten that piece of pie, how I need to sweep the floor again, how I should have pushed myself harder at the gym today, and so on.

These are NOT things that normally bother me, but when I'm anxious these thoughts just pop into my head. I just hope I get this job thing settled soon because I don't like feeling like stinks.


  1. OMG girlie I think we are long lost sisters LOL....
    I do the same thing! When I worry about something it totally consumes me and then things I usually don't worry about I start worrying about and then anxiety kicks in yada, yada, yada and then I need to do yoga LOL

    Hang in there chicka I am sure you will find a super good position in teaching! I know it is hard not to worry but try to leave it in God's Hands....that is what I do with my disease, Anxiety totally kicks in if I worry about all the what if's so I give it to him....after all that is the best hands for it to be in!

    I will pray hard hard that a position comes around quick for ya

    keep your pretty chin up chicka
    Summer :0)

  2. hey there. i feel for ya. i'm in those same shoes a lot of time. i always try and explain it to my husband that it's like a glass of water that keeps getting filled up and up and up until it is overflowing. It just snowballs and then chaos ensues. Anxiety sucks, but it's nice knowing that someone else understands. right?

  3. I'm right there with you!!!! Then I start to CLEAN!!! ....and then I go to the gym!!! And if I still don't feel better I eat junk!! Keep always works out!

  4. I know exactly what you mean. I'm a planner who hates uncertainty. It makes me terribly irritable on a good day.

    I'll be praying for you!

  5. Oh I understand how that feels! Would it help to direct all that anxious energy into an organization project or something productive? So you're not stressing about anything and everything.


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