I posted here about my little bout of OCD that was causing me some anxiety and unfortunately I can't say that I've stopped checking the county website for job vacancies multiple times a day.
Last night, just before I went to bed, I checked it one last time. What?!? New job postings! Who posts jobs at 9:00 at night? Apparently our county. And one just happens to be a first grade position at the school less than a mile from where we are building our home. (It's not my first choice; I'd rather take a reading position, but none have posted.) Needless to say, my good friend anxiety came back and brought along another friend named insomnia.
I lay awake in the bed last night for hours thinking about the job and different scenarios that could play out. Then I'd try to NOT think about it so I'd think about the house. I seriously mentally constructed and decorated each room in our house last night. I thought about hardwoods, ceiling fans, shower curtains, tile, cabinets, bedding, lamps, landscaping, faucets, and on and on.
Clearly the distraction was a problem in itself. As if anxiety and insomnia weren't enough, a third friend came and crashed the party...paranoia. I felt a pain on my foot which (obviously) was a spider bite. I continued to imagine the spider crawling around in my bed. I may or may not have slept with my legs crossed to avoid having this imaginary spider bite me on my lady bits. Weird, huh? Yeah, that's what lack of sleep will do.
To sum it up, I'm dragging today....anxiety, insomnia, and paranoia--the three worst friends anyone could have.
I have had issues sleeping for many years. Of late what helps me when I wake up or can't sleep is to take a magnesium (about 250 mg). I usually am back to sleep in about 30 minutes.ReplyDelete
I hope that things get better for you.
I had never had trouble sleeping until Katrina. Then I found myself awake for hours on end each and every night. I have a prescription for Ambien, and when I am feeling those panicky feelings creeping in, I will take half a dose and drift off to sleep. I find one night of good sleep will help get my pattern back on course.ReplyDelete
Good luck, and I hope you find a little peace and quiet tonight.
I hope things get better, Try some hot tea before bedReplyDelete
Oh no! I hate those moments - the insomnia and the anxiety over things we can't control at 3 am. I'm praying for you! If it's the job for you, you'll get it! I know you will!ReplyDelete
ohhh friend! i'm sorry ur having those moments!ReplyDelete
everything is going to work out just right for you and ur family!
i can't wait to see more photos of that fantastic house!
Miss! I'm right there with you!!!!!!!!! I am the QUEEN of OCD!!! And these past several weeks are soooooo hard....I swear May/June and the end of the school year are worse than the holidays! My husband just interviewed for a new job 500 miles away and I'm CRAZY over it!!!! I'm worried sick he'll get it! Friday can't come soon enough....they say they'll let us know either way by then.....yikes!ReplyDelete
I ruminate at night too. It's like my brain waits all day until it's quiet and no one else had needs and then run amuck. I hope you found some peace.ReplyDelete